Monday, June 23, 2008

Things my Lovie is not allowed to talk about when in bed with me

- Possible "theoretical" baseball-inspired commentary for any on-going bedroom action
- Piggy banks, savings accounts, CDs and IRA accounts
- Excel spread sheets

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Things I am not allowed to talk about when in bed with my Lovie

- The grocery list
- What needs to be cleaned
- The dogs' digestion-related issues
- How sad I am that the blinds or vacuum is broken
- The fact that my Lovie is essentially dating his mother
- My calendar
- Information I need from for my calendar to be well kept
- My Lovie's brother's 4th of July plans
- My bad gas
- Possible ghosts

Two dog-shaped holes in my heart

The muttlings that we've been pet sitting for the last 6 months have headed home...

Let me assure you that despite the numerous reasons my life will now be easier sans dogs, it's a really really really big bummer.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

A new (and joyous) obsession!

I only just discovered and it has changed my entire life.

I have already completely decorated 4 homes. I have purchased gifts for everyone in my family for the next three years. I have decorated my future children's rooms and and I have fallen madly and deeply in love with 46 different objects. All without actually making a single purchase!

I have fantasy shopped like nobody's business!

And its so easy because just looking at EVERY SINGLE LISTING under their vintage section, was like living out my own personal fantasy. It was hoooot. And steamy. And surprisingly affordable!!!

I think all future gifts I buy for myself will come from there.

The end.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Confession # 2

Bad part:
I bought four pairs of shoes in one day.

Redemptive part:
I only spent $100 dollars total (thanks to DSW) and I undeniably needed* all of them.

Part that reminds you that this was still a bad thing:
I can't really afford to spend $100 dollars on anything. Like not even a gift certificate for a million dollars...

*They replaced shoes that were over 4 years old and/or broken and/or smelly and/or ugly and/or made me cry in the morning when I put them on.

Things that could have happened to improve my day

- Minor trip to the emergency room
- The creation of an impassable traffic blockade that required I return to my home and bed
- The taking of a nap in an inappropriate social situation
- The removal of ears and therefore pain radiating from ears
- Loss of all appetite and therefore compulsion to try to sooth throat with food
- Miraculous and effortless achievement of all items on my "To Do" list
- 12 hour coma instead of 12 hour work day

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Bubalou and Gilly

One day I will have a mini donkey (Bubalou) and a pygmy goat (Gilly) and they will love each other forever and come running to the back porch of my glamorous farmhouse when I ring the dinner bell so that I can hand feed them baby carrots. It will be super. Trust me.

Sticky notes and automatically flushing toilets

When I go to the bathroom at work, I take a sticky note.

Its important. I need that sticky note to be able to use "the facilities" without experiencing emotional distress.

I just slap that sticky note, my trusty bathroom buddy, over the toilet's sensor and I can relieve myself free from the fear of premature flushing. When I'm all done, I pull off the sticky note and *whoosh,* its all good.